A personal record or : How I reached Northtown
Everything started with the fact that I was born. At that time I was still very young.
When I arrived, my parents were not even at home. They were out in a field, harvesting potatoes.
It was not our field, but we always got our potatoes there anyway.
On the desk a single note was to be found : " the milk is on the furnace! "
Yes, it all started this way.
I was not all children in our family. We are, altogether, 9 children: 6 boys, 2 girls and 1 do-not-know. Perhaps should I present my family briefly to you?
My parents were noble! My father was "up and away" and my mother was a born from the "Federal Railroads". This information was to be gotten from our bathtowel.
I still remember this towel, it STOOD always directly behind the kitchen door.
In this large family sleeping was complicated, we had only 2 beds. Our parents slept in one; we shared the other.
That could be done in such a way : if one had fallen asleep, he was placed against the wall, then the next could lie down. Once I slept through an entire week at the wall, nobody noticed at all.
The flat was at any rate very crowded. Mother had to fry pancakes upright in the pan.
Our dachshund did not have an easy life, as we had to teach it to wag always up and down instead of left to right.
Our home was situated in a very small place, you surely do not know it. It is called Tiny-
Guinessbeerbottlemountainvillage. It was so tiny that we got only half a zip code from the post office.
My brothers and sisters all chose careers.
My first brother became Chief Pathfinder.
In finding he was first class! He could find valuable things, which were not even lost!
My second brother was a singer. However, he sang ever more deeply over time, now he's at Sing-Sing .
My third brother is an artist, -- more precisely: Con artist.
He goes into a restaurant with an old coat and returnes with a new one...
My fourth brother is WHOLLY different: he is a plumber. What he 'plumbs' over the day, he has to silver in the evening.
My sisters are both very beautiful. From earliest youth, the older one attached much importance to her teeth.
She has even got two toothbrushes, one for each tooth.
The younger sister attached importance to her slimness. She is such slim that she must come into the room twice to be seen once .
She has problems showering, though: she must always jump from drop to drop to get wet.
Now she has got twins. They look very similar to each other, especially one of them.
At school I was the teacher's pet. Some classes I was allowed to visit several times, while the other children were forced to move along into the next class.
Once the teacher asked : " If you have to pay the butcher $50, to the baker $40 and to the shopkeeper $80 debt , how much that will be ? "
I said: " I don't know, that's when we always move! "
If we children got good school reports , we earned 25 cents for our savings box. For bad grades we got hit with the carpet-sweeper . If the savings box was full, a new carpet-sweeper was bought...
After school I had job training at the butcher's. In the evening I often took the beautiful soup bones home. I had planned quite firmly to ask him sometime for permission.
He wrote into my report : " he was always honest up to the bones. "
After this I worked in a pet shop. I had to wash the parrot.
He let me wash him happily enough, but didn't like being wrung out.
Then I was busy at a store. Beside other duties I had to wax the floor. I could do that really well.
I could do that so well that I occasionally slipped and fell and could still catch a firm hold in the cash register. And then I got a cramp in my hand. Unfortunately he soon dismissed me.
I started work as an artist at the theater . In my first role I had to carry a bucket of water onto the stage. That was too little for me. Okay, finally I was allowed to carry two buckets of water onto the stage.
Later on I even got a proper speaking role!
I got to go on stage and say: " You do not come yet ! "
When I came on stage, I saw a box on the ground. There was the head of a woman looking out.
She whispered :"You do not come yet !" - "Okay," I said, "well then I come not ! " went back off stage.
The director told me, I would be unpayable. And after all, I got no cash.
Next I became a gardener in the city park.
One day I had to paint a bench. The color was still quite fresh. A German
granny came and wanted to set herself down. I shouted : "That has been freshly painted ! "
She sat down and asked me : " Hooooowwwww ? " - I answered : "GREEN ! "
After this I needed more paint, of course. The boss said to me,
the paint is found at the stocks, in the back, where the red lights are
to be seen. I thus took my bicycle and followed the lights. I was going along for three full days -- the red lights were the rear lights of a truck, driving to Northtown.....
So what, now you know how I came to Northtown.
|