Makeup Tips for Men

The man of today is concerned with his appearance and pays attention to his effect on others, above all on females between the ages of 17 and  ...until 5 years below his own age.
When composing their appearance, progressives even go so far that a white mask in front of their faces is necessary. This is overkill !
The following tips are envisioned more for beginners, for men at the so-called "prime of his life" - more precisely said, between the ages of 15 and 75.

Fellows, we all know how it is when we must forego a nap or a trip through the internet, because we have to "quickly" mow the lawn, dig a new flower garden, repair something, build something as a gift, or dust the house, just because company is coming.

This is a great opportunity to decidedly improve one's outward appearance.
Freshly mown grass (2 square yards will more than suffice) stains a lovely green. A bit of this rubbed onto the backs of your hands, between
your fingers and under your fingernails gives a good impression of a dutiful gardner, who only with saddest disappointment is prevented from mowing the ENTIRE lawn by some very stubborn weeds.
For that little something extra, apply 2-3 (no more !!) blades of grass to the hair.
The wife, her friends, and the neighbors (very important) will be deeply impressed.
Caution - don't forget : your daughter is not impressed, she uses similar tricks herself !


Make-up procedure for digging gardens is similar. Just a wee spadeful of fresh mud, under the fingernails, across the hands, and in delicate traces across the throat, ensures a most impressive effect.
Covering the tips of your shoes with a bit of mud makes your new look even more convincing.
It would, however, be a mistake to dirty your clothes with mud - you'll only come across sloppy and clumsy.

The cellar workshop is notorious as the best storage space for forbidden cigarettes/cigars/joints and bottles of every sort. Here, a man can be alone and undisturbed.
To ensure your privacy, however, it must be believed that you are hard at work. Even if you can't show the fruit of your labors, because the darned thing broke just before completion (there was a defect in the wood grain, or the metal had a faulty, unsuspected tension), you can at least prove your efforts with the sawdust covering your arms from fingertip to elbow and the woodchips in your hair, or with metal shavings and/or rust in the same places.
In addition, tiny scratches in your skin will quickly win the heart of a woman, at least the maternal types.

If you need some spare time and have a car, a believable excuse at any time is that something needs improving.
Yeah, I know, everyone knows this trick. But - you also have a bottle of old motor oil and a bit of grease (preferably used) don't you ? Then you must know what I'm gonna say next : grease on the backs of your hands (not on the palms, you want to be able to touch the friends and neighbors!) and motor oil streaked across the forehead, as if you had wiped away lots of sweat.

For you men who notice you are needed for dusting, you should, if at all possible, drape some dustbunnies in the hair across your forehead, or hang them from your ears. This kind of make-up also serves as a good distraction from the furniture which has not been dusted.
Can't find any dustbunnies ? Check under the bed, you'll always find a good supply there !
If the lady in question is the "motherly" type, tell her something about cramps in your calves or a pulled muscle in your back (depending on your age), and your home will immediately be cleaned for you (don't use this one too often though!) !

Fellows over the age of 15 who want to send erotic signals should avoid wearing an earring. Earrings are out, out, out.
Instead, just buy yourself a tube of basic Lipstick and apply it to one or both of your earlobes (no, NOT the entire ear!!). This signal is understood by every female.

Lipstick is also very useful for reviving a cool relationship : a tiny bit on your collar and neck reawakens her interest like nothing else. Don't think of sneaking some panties into the glove compartment, though -- you musn't overdo it. That theme also falls outside of the scope of "Make-up Tips".

Should the above recommended erotic signals be successful, it doesn't mean a fellow may stop there.
It is of course necessary to keep her interest. Try drawing a circle aound erogenous zones with your
lipstick, something like the belly button, for instance. Because you know yourself where you have these zones, I can spare you further tips in that regard.
If you want to hear a loud, excited cry, paint 1 (and only one) toenail with red nailpolish.

If you know any other tips, please share.

Herzlichen Dank für die Übersetzung an EvaSara Tullier

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